By: Steve Love
1. My parents don’t like you.
2. It’s way too easy for you to get along with my parents.
3. You eat whatever you want.
4. You don’t eat anything.
5. You never work out.
6. You work out too much.
7. You’re cuter than me.
8. I’m not over my ex.
9. Your parents are divorced.
10. You dated one of my friends.
11. You have yellow teeth.
12. You’re too good of a dancer.
13. I don’t like your friends.
14. I like your friends more than you.
15. You have a Grindr account.
16. You get more attention than me.
17. You don’t like musicals.
18. You’re an actor.
19. You’re Christian.
20. You’re Jewish.
21. I know we are the same race, but I don’t like that as a rule you WON’T date people of other races.
22. My friends like you too much.
23. You’re funnier than me.
24. I feel like you’re waiting to talk instead of listening to me.
25. You play video games.
26. You’re too nice to me.
27. One of my friends said you remind them of someone who I don’t like.
28. You talked during my favorite movie.
29. You text me back too quickly.