I’ve Got 99 #20SomethingProblems, But Having A Big Butt Ain’t One

I’m no J.Lo, Kim K, or Nicki Minaj, but it’s safe to say I’ve got a little junk in my trunk. Remember this story from last week? For those of you not in the know, Rep. Jim Sensenbrenner made remarks that Michelle Obama had a “large posterior” then apologized for saying it.

In the words of Trace Adkins, you can’t blame her for what her mama gave her. Maybe Sensenbrenner was having a hard time not staring at her honkytonk badonkadonk, but can you blame him? Michelle defines #CareyFit, the woman’s more in shape than most of us. She started the Let’s Move campaign; she actually cares about ending childhood obesity in the States! How can you rag on her for keeping what she’s got toned? Sensenbrenner must be insane/blind.

In this day and age, everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion, but it’s so passé to use a big butt as an insult. So what if I’ve got some child-bearing hips or it takes me a little longer to find jeans that fit right? I’m not complaining. We all have our flaws. People love to complain about their humps or lack thereof. Point is, that’s why there are things like plastic surgery or good old-fashioned working out if you’re really that unhappy with yourself! There are bigger things to worry about guys, like the economy, global warming or, dare I say it, your personality.

Yes, I get the occasional catcall directed at my backside or an unwanted grope while I’m out, but at least I’m getting noticed. You’ve got to take what you can get nowadays. Plus, guys have said some hilarious things to me, some of which I’ll have to include in my memoir. I just brush off things like that and look back on them when I need a daily dose of entertainment. Haters are gonna hate, but I won’t let them bring me down! It builds my character. As long as I keep it #CareyFit, I’m sure my glutes will never be a problem. Squats, lunges, and supermans are going to be my best friends in 2012.

Ms. New Booty, donk, moneymaker, rump shaker, bootylicious, fat bottom girl, whatever you refer to it or me as, I don’t care. I don’t have a small derrière and I’m proud. I will continue to keep shaking my healthy butt, to the numerous songs devoted to it, because there’s nothing wrong with embracing my assets. I was just #BornThisWay

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  1. [...] remember how I told you big butts weren’t a problem? Well I guess I lied. Just having a tushy at all made women a target for [...]

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