The Israeli-Palestinian conflict has been going on for a super long time. I mean, It’s hard to even believe we’re still talking about it, you know?
But lately, everywhere I look, it seems as though the conflict has been especially prominent/in my face. If you know me, you know that in addition to being a clairvoyant, I am also a huge believer of signs. My life coach, Oprah, once said “the universe speaks to us, always, first in whispers. If you don’t pay attention to the whisper, it gets louder and louder and louder. If you don’t pay attention to that, it’s like getting a brick upside your head. You don’t pay attention to that—the brick wall falls down.” Omg wow…deep, I know. She’s like that though. Anyway, the world was totally speaking to me in whispers about the whole Israeli-Palestinian thing! And we all know I am very sensitive to head trauma so I couldn’t risk having the universe slap me upside the head.
My mission was clear: It was time that I did my part as an Arab to help bridge the divide and start chipping away at the conflict between Jews and Arabs. After all, if anyone knows what it’s like to hold a grudge, it’s me (I’m a Taurus). So I sat down and got to thinking, why can’t they all get along?? The answer: Fear. Fear of the unknown was what was keeping everyone apart. Well, that and anger/rage (but this isn’t the time to address that).
Anyway, I came to realize that Jews and Arabs were fearful of one another, simply because they had preconceived notions about each others cultures and practices. A very wise woman, Jane Fonda, once said “When I’m afraid of something, I embrace it. I become it’s best friend. I know everything I can about it. And my fear dissipates.” It was time for me to educate my fellow Arabs on the culture and practices involved in Judaism. Luckily, this vision came to me just in time for Passover.
Part 1: The Seder
The Passover Seder (Hebrew: סֵדֶר [ˈsedeʁ], “order, arrangement”; Yiddish: Seyder) is a Jewish ritual feast that marks the beginning of the Jewish holiday of Passover. Seder customs include drinking four cups of wine, eating matzo, partaking of symbolic foods placed on the Passover Seder Plate, and reclining in celebration of freedom. (Thanks Wikipedia!)
When I first discovered the traditions behind the mystical Passover Seder I was beyond intrigued and fascinated. Who would have ever thought that I, an Arab, would have SO much in common with the Jews? Our dietary requirements/restrictions were literally right on par with one another. Basically, no carbs and a ton of wine. Perfect. Once I familiarized myself with the traditions of the Seder, it became clear to me that I just had to have one of my own. Besides, everyone knows I throw great dinner parties.
The Invitation
(see below, you’ll love)
The Guest List
I literally have 1 Jewish friend. And she’s “half-jewish,” which technically is not a real thing (trust me, I looked into it). I was friends with Mel Gibson for a while so that kind of ruined my rep with a lot of jews unfortunately (I don’t even talk to him anymore guys, promise). Anyway, this made things awkward when I started drawing up the guest list. I mean, if I have a Seder without any Jewish guests it’s not really a Seder so much as it is just another one of Kit’s famous dinner parties, you know? So I had no choice but to join JDate.
Jdate: An online dating service aimed at Jewish singles. The service is one of a number of demographically focused, non-profit online match-making websites operated by Spark Networks plc.
JDate was beyond useful in compiling a list of potential guests in the Washington area, and also for expanding my knowledge of Jewish culture/vocabulary. Also, JDate proved to be very useful for finding great deals in my area! Hello Costco margarita mix!
I also went through the phone directory and invited anyone with a last name ending in “Stein” or “Man.” Guess we’ll see what happens.
The Menu
Obviously, my first choice for catering was Jose Andres, but the whole concept of keeping kosher started to really confuse me. Like, what exactly does it mean? I couldn’t be bothered to wrap my head around it and I definitely didn’t want to take any chances, sorry Jose (totes still on for my annual cinco de mayo party though! #Oyamel) So I decided to play it safe and enlist the help of The Kosher Kitchen. As long as my dinner party is tapas style, low-cal, low-carb, low-fat, gluten-free, sugar-free, lactose-free, organic and Kosher, we’re good babes! I have faith in you.
Gift Bags:
You can’t have your guests going home empty-handed. It’s in poor taste. Besides, I want to be sure that each one of my guests walks away with the same knowledge I have acquired about Jewish culture.
This unique piece of religious wear is definitely not your conventional yarmulke, as it is more adorned than its formalists. Designed by Young & ng, the Yamaka Crown will make any person (Jewish or not) feel like a king or queen instantly.
Bette Midler -- Greatest Hits: Experience the Divine
JDate Gift Certificate
I’m really looking forward to taking this step forward in expanding my background in humanitarian work as well as growing spiritually as a dinner party hostess. You all could probably learn a few things from me. See you at the Seder. נשיקות
